Be still, and wait

It was March of this year — that's when I first felt the small tug on my heart.

SD and I had a heart-to-heart about where God might be leading us as we rode up the ski lift that next week, sun beaming down on the snow-covered slopes below us.

It was one of those conversations that stays with you, one I still cherish. It was a time and place in which we bared our souls in honesty and openness, unsure about what was ahead but willing to trust that God would make it clear in his time.

Change is never easy, especially when it's uncertain.

Certain change is almost easier, in a way. You know it's coming. You know what will change and how. You can prepare for it, or at least feel like you're preparing for it. But uncertain change requires a level of trust and surrender, believing that God will prepare you for whatever is in store.

Last month, we marked the beginning of summer with the sudden influx of several new and exciting prospects. Could this be the change God has been preparing us for? Are we witnessing his hands at work? The message was clear: Wait on me. Trust in me. Surrender to me.

Truth be told, I've never been very good at waiting. Waiting for that email to pop up in my inbox, waiting for that letter in the mail, waiting for the cake to cool before frosting. You know.

Sometimes, it feels as if nothing is happening. Waiting is stillness. All the while, I feel like I should be doing something — preparing, getting ready, making pros and cons lists (I am so Rory Gilmore). Tell me: How is waiting productive?

But I'm beginning to realize that in our waiting — our stillness — God moves.

So, we wait.

I'm learning to accept it, this season. I want to live a life of contentment, to rest in the unsettledness of life right now. I want to live in hope, not fear, and dwell in the security of God's grace and faithfulness rather than the insecurity of my actions and dreams.

Maybe you're there, too, in that place of waiting. Maybe you, too, struggle with the stillness. If so, I hope these words are as comforting to you as they were to me when I stumbled upon them while flipping through the hymnal last week:

"Only be still, and wait God's leisure in cheerful hope, with heart content to take whate'er thy Maker's pleasure and all-discerning love hath sent; we know our inmost wants are known, for we are called to be God's own."

- Georg Neumark (1657), translated into English by Catherine Winkworth (1863)

Be still, and wait on the Lord.

Hello, Adventure

It's a cool summer morning, the rain just beginning to let up. The city noise below drifts in through an open window. And I'm thinking about adventure.

There's something to be said about having adventures - vacations, new jobs, ordering something "adventurous" off the menu (like that time we ordered bone marrow, right, SD?). Sometimes, we like to call these "Weekend Adventures."

Adventures do not have to be fancy or expensive. They don't have to be epic (no Fear Factor here, please and thank you). In fact, it's often the little things - the small, simple everyday adventures - that make us feel like we're living life to its fullest.

So, what's stopping you? Go have an adventure!

Here are a few ideas:

- go berry-picking at a local farm - pick out a new bottle of wine to enjoy with friends or your significant other - go for a hike - take a day (or an afternoon, or a weekend!) to go explore a new town or city nearby - visit your local farmer's market and make something new for dinner! - explore a second-hand bookstore and pick out a new summer read (or two!) - host brunch for a few close friends

What adventures will you have this summer? Leave a comment below!

June Goals

*Disclosure: I get commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

May was a wonderful month of rest and rejuvenation. I finished my last semester of formal classes as a PhD student (hooray!) and we did lots to celebrate the return of warm, summery weather:

- took walks almost every day
- visited our neighborhood bakery (on a few occasions)
- had happy hour on the roof
- tried a new-to-us recipe for homemade donut holes
- visited with family (and played a few mini concerts!)
- played tennis
- celebrated Memorial Day with a visit to a little farm vineyard for a wine-tasting and picnic lunch

I am looking forward to the fun things we have planned for June!

- my year-end studio recital
- our annual Lake week (see here and here)
- house-sitting with three sweet pups!

June Goals

Walk every day and do 30 minutes of bike exercise each week
Finish reading A Million Little Ways
Continue intentional time off of social media - daily after dinner and time on weekends
Take steps to organize finances
Look up berry-picking schedules for local farms
Review a few sight-reading series to recommend to students this summer/in the fall
Clean up files from the school year - save/organize on hard drive
Finalize workshop materials for June conference

Happy June!

The City and the Sea

*Disclosure: I get commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

I'm reading Emily Freeman's A Million Little Ways right now — so many good words and such a fresh perspective on life and living and grace and art. Created in the image of God, we are called to serve and give and create in a multitude of ways — ways that reflect His glory. The journey to discovering these callings is a personal one and as I read Emily's account of her story, I see pieces of my own journey.

"My life is the city but my soul is the sea."

These words practically jumped off the page when I read them.

We've all had those moments when life feels adventurous and exciting. We thrive on the hustle and bustle of those around us and we feel as if we're on top of the world. Life is big and grand like the intimidating lines and finely-crafted architectural detail of the early skyscrapers, built a century ago and still standing majestically along Main Street. There in the distance — our name in lights.

And then there are those days when we want to hide. When we drive to a place where no one will find us because stepping into the warm rays of sunlight that hit our front steps and facing the world seems too much to bear. Instead of attention and a desire to be noticed, to be known, we long for security, for peace, for stillness. Our souls long for refreshment and solitude.

Rochester is a mid-size city.

We say it's just the right size for us: lots of arts and culture; small restaurants with a cozy, neighborhood feel; and you can get anywhere in about 20 minutes. I've grown used to the refrigerated delivery trucks parked outside on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, the street sweeper, the beeping of the bus as it pauses mid-route at the stop around the corner. There's something comforting about it all — life being lived around you, people coming and going, a sense of community.

But then there are those moments when city life stops for a moment. There's a lull in the traffic on East Avenue. The only other person out walking is far in the distance. The only sounds are those of the birds happily chirping in the nearby crabapple and the wind gently nudging its branches.

I love these moments.

Instinctively, I take in a deep breath. I notice the pool blue sky, the white petals of the dogwood falling along my path, the fluffy peonies larger than the size of my hand. And then I remember that though my life is the city much of the time, my soul is the sea.

The Piano Teacher

Penelope is a bright-eyed, curly-headed girl of almost 8. She often skips into her lesson, singing me the song she composed that week. But one week, in the middle of playing through "Beautiful Dreamer," she fought back tears as she half-whispered, "No one wants to listen to my songs." I put down my notebook and pencil and moved to the bench to sit beside her. "My friends just want to play with me. They don't want to hear me play the piano." We talked about people and how everyone is different. We all like different things and are good at different things. Some people like to be with other people and others would rather be by themselves. "I like to be by myself," she said quietly. "Me, too," I said with a smile. She brushed away a tear from the corner of her eye and we went back to our lesson. Sometimes, it's more important to sit and talk for a minute than hearing every piece on the assignment sheet. Sometimes, lessons are more about building relationships and trust than playing and making music. As musicians, we know how much our emotions impact what we do. Creating music is a vulnerable act, a bearing of our very souls to those listening. Many times I've felt insecure about this and insecure about my abilities when they are not affirmed by others. Maybe you've been there, too. I want to be a teacher that acknowledges these struggles with openness and honesty. Someone who offer that affirmation and encouragement or at least lend a listening ear and say "I understand. I know what you're feeling." I believe this is part of what we are called to do as teachers. We listen when they're going through a hard time, encourage their pursuit of musical excellence, and celebrate their achievements.

We also laugh at their jokes and smile when they're being silly. Like when Graham, a sandy-haired, blue-eyed 1st grader asked to read me a comic he memorized from the New Yorker. At the end of his lesson, he sat on the bench and "performed" the comic for me with a different voice for each character. His mom said the first thing he told her when he got home was that he "made me laugh" with his story.

We are musicians and supporters, encouragers and facilitators, but we're also listeners and mentors, friends and confidants. We are piano teachers.

Taxes for Freelancers - Part IV

Hi friends!

I know it's past Tax Day, but as a freelancer, there are some tax considerations to think about throughout the year. So far in this series, I've covered Getting Started, Getting Organized, and Keeping Good Records Throughout the Year.

Today's topic: Estimated Taxes.

First, what are estimated taxes? The short answer: a way of withholding money from what you make and paying taxes as you go, rather than in one lump sum come April. With no employer withholding things like Medicare and social security, the government expects you to do this quarterly, if you make a certain amount.

That certain amount? Enough to owe $1,000 in taxes.

If you owed $1,000 this year or anticipate owing $1,000 next year, then you should start making estimated tax payments. If you owe $1,000 next year and don't make estimated tax payments this year, the IRS can fine you or charge you a penalty.

However, if you make estimated tax payments all year and end up not owing $1,000 in taxes next year, no harm, no foul. In fact, you may even get a larger refund!

Here are a few examples:

Ex. 1: You are single, making about $18,000 per year in freelance income.

Come tax season, you will owe the federal income tax rate:

10% on taxable income from $0-$9,075 + 15% on taxable income from $9,075-$36,900 + 25% on taxable income from $36,900-$89,350

This works out to be about 12.5%. You will also owe the federal self-employment tax rate of 15.3%.

What does this mean? Well, you could pay the combined 27.8% in estimated taxes throughout the year, or you could assume that you're going to take a few deductions that will knock your income down from $18,000. Let's say you have $6,000 in deductions. This brings your taxable income down to $12,000. Using the formula above, your federal income tax is now 7.4%, meaning, with the 15.3% of self-employment tax (fixed amount), you will owe a total of 22.7% of your $18,000 in federal taxes.

Ex. 2: You are single, making about $40,000 per year in freelance income.

As in the example above, you will owe federal income tax (14.6% - see formula above) plus the federal self-employment tax rate of 15.3%.

You could pay the combined 29.9% in estimated taxes, or you could assume that you'll have, say, $10,000 in deductions. This brings your your taxable income down to $30,000 and your total federal taxes down to 25.4%.

Ex. 3: You are married (filing jointly), making about $80,000 per year in freelance income.

You will owe the federal income tax rate: 10% on taxable income from $0-$18,150 + 15% on taxable income from $18,150-$73,800 + 25% on taxable income from $73,800-$148,850

This works out to be 14.6%. Like above, you will also owe the federal self-employment tax rate of 15.3%.

So, you could pay the combined 29.9% in estimated taxes, or you could estimate, say, $15,000 in deductions, bringing your taxable income down to $65,000. Your federal income tax rate is now 11%. With the 15.3% of self-employment tax, you will owe 26.3% of your $80,000 in federal taxes.

Phew! Still with me? Okay good. :-)

Making Estimated Tax Payments

If you decide to start making estimated tax payments this year, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Freelance income is taxed at the federal tax rate (see formulas above) AND self-employment tax rate of 15.3% (12.4% for social security and 2.9% for Medicare). Based on our income and our taxes from previous years, Steve and I set aside 20% of our business income each quarter for federal taxes.
   

2. Don't forget about state tax! Some states have a flat income tax rate and others (like New York State) have a marginal tax rate, based on your income and filing status (single vs. married). Again, based on our income and our state taxes from previous years, Steve and I set aside 5% of our business income each quarter for NYS taxes.
   

3. Mark your calendar! Estimated taxes are due the following dates: April 15, June 15, September 15, and January 15 of next year.
   

4. Save yourself the time and hassle by paying your estimated taxes online. For federal tax payments, create an account at EFTPS.
   

5. Separate your tax money from your take-home pay by keeping funds in a separate savings account. Withhold your tax percentage from every check that comes in and then pay the balance of the savings account every quarter. Remember, overpaying (and getting a refund) is better than underpaying (and paying a penalty)!

Want to learn more? Here are a few helpful resources:

• The Freelancer's Guide to Business and Taxes

• Federal Tax Income Rate Brackets

• How to Pay Self-Employment Tax

• Quarterly Tax Guide for Freelancers

Alcott Songs

A few months ago, I had the privilege of recording part of SD's newest work - "Alcott Songs" for soprano and piano (and soon, for soprano and chamber winds! Read more here). This set of six songs, with text by Louisa May Alcott would be such a fun addition to a recital or concert program. The songs are short and playful and each one has such a unique character. See the vocal score here.

We set up a little recording studio in the beautiful sanctuary at Pittsford Presbyterian Church. If you look closer at the picture above, you'll see how we cleverly rigged our portable recording device to a boom mic stand!

Here is a recording of the sixth song, "Lullaby":

[audio http://www.ashleydanyew.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Lullaby_Alcott.mp3]

Now the day is done, Now the shepherd sun Drives his white flocks from the sky; Now the flowers rest On their mother’s breast, Hushed by her low lullaby.

Now ‘mid shadows deep Falls blessed sleep, Like dew from the summer sky; And the whole earth dreams, In the moon’s soft beams, While night breathes a lullaby.

Interested in performing these songs? Purchase the soprano / piano version (digital - $18, print - $24) or join the soprano / chamber winds consortium and be among the first to perform the new version!

What is a consortium? A consortium is a group of schools, ensembles, and individuals that buy into or co-commission a new musical work. The consortium members get first access to the new work and sole performance rights for a certain period of time. A consortium is a great way to be part of a new music project without the sole responsibility of funding it!

Consortium info: -  Duration: 12 minutes -  Instrumentation: soprano (voice) and chamber octet: Flute, Oboe, 2 Clarinets in Bb, 2 Bassoons, Bass Clarinet in Bb, Contrabass Clarinet in Bb* -  Difficulty Level: Grade 5 -  Timeline: Printed music will be sent to all consortium members no later than June 1, 2014. Consortium members will receive individually numbered scores, and a complete set of printed parts. Consortium members will have the exclusive performance rights to the piece through the end of the 2014 calendar year.

*String bass may be substituted

Sign up for the consortium here!

The consortium closes June 1, 2014.

May Goals

*Disclosure: I get commissions for purchases made through links in this post.

April was a good month — a busy month, but a good one. 

Our little bell choir played two special pieces on Easter Sunday, we had happy hour on the roof for the first time this season, and we tried a few new recipes.  I finished several school projects (one step closer to the end of the semester!), received my article in print form (ahh!), wrapped up the Piano Olympics Festival, finished reading Margin, and sent out the first edition of a new email newsletter — short notes of inspiration, helpful resources, and creative ideas for music teaching.  The second edition will be on its way to your inbox this afternoon!  Not on the list?  Sign up here. 

I am so grateful for the longer, brighter, warmer days; our evening walks down Park Ave., and time to sit outside and be still at the end of busy work days.  May is when the magnolias bloom all over the city.  It's also the beginning "festival season" in Rochester — looking forward to attending two festivals this month!  Here are my goals:

May Goals

Take a walk down East Ave. during the annual Busker Festival
Do some form of intentional exercise every day
Start reading A Million Little Ways
Continue intentional time off of social media
Go to the Lilac Festival with SD
Write year-end summary letters for each student (Piano teachers - have any of y'all done this before? Something new I'm trying this year.)
Choose final recital repertoire with students, plan details
Prepare workshop materials for June conference
Go see The Amazing Spider-Man 2!
Write out ideas/vision for new blog series (very excited about this!)

Happy May, y'all!  What are you most looking forward to this month?

---

Sacred Space

"Space," I said as we stepped out into the cool, dark night, gesturing with my hands. I took a deep breath almost instinctively. We walked in silence for a while as we let the worship service sink in. The pace of the readings, the prayers, the music, created an atmosphere of rest and peace—a sanctuary, a haven where we were free to just be. There was a sense of timelessness in this service—neither of us had any idea what time it was and it didn't matter. As we turned our hearts toward worship, the things of this world faded.

We have grown accustomed to sound and noise as a backdrop for just about everything we do, but our listening is surface-level. We are used to having information at our fingertips, but we skim instead of reading. We are always connected via the worldwide web, but we are often disconnected from the present. No wonder our attention spans are so short! When do we give ourselves permission to do one thing at a time? When do we take the time to sit and listen, to put our phones on silent, to breathe deeply?

"He made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find Him." - Acts 17:26-27

Our busy, fast-paced, impatient world does not often leave room for encountering space or dwelling in it for a short time, but worship is supposed to be different. It's supposed to draw us into God's presence, to create space for Him to move among His people. Worship is not instant or immediate—it's a process, of rendering, of believing, of trusting, of hoping, of listening.

"When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer." - Lamentations 3:29

There were two layers of space and time in this service: space in between elements (readings, hymns, anthems, etc.) and space in the elements themselves. Do you know how slowly you need to read before your spoken words really sink in for listeners? Pretty slow. Whether it's a Scripture reading or a written prayer, leave space. Let those final consonants linger for a minute. Let the richness of the text sit for a second before you move on.

"But oh! God is in his holy Temple! Quiet everyone—a holy silence. Listen!" - Habakkuk 2:20

Leave some space between the spoken elements of the service and the musical elements. Pause before beginning the hymn introduction.

"Silence is praise to you, Zion-dwelling God, And also obedience. You hear the prayer in it all." - Psalm 65:1-2

Take a deep breath and begin in a tempo that accommodates breathing. SD reflected later, "The tempo and phrasing was so in tune with my breaths that it felt like I was controlling the accompaniment—it was just right." There was space in between verses and in between phrases. The tempo not only facilitated good singing but also reflection on the text as we read the theology together.

This worship experience was transcendent, outside of the world in which we live. Go there. Go to that place where there's space and silence and room to breathe. Take it all in. Listen, sing, pray, and rest in the sanctity of this sacred space.

CMS Workshop / Knoxville, TN

Earlier this spring, I had the privilege of presenting a workshop at the College Music Society (CMS) Southern/Mid-Atlantic Joint Regional Conference in Knoxville, TN.

We had a little trouble getting there because of all the winter weather in Tennessee (the University of Tennessee cancelled classes the day before this picture was taken!) but everything worked out in the end.

At the end of the first day, SD and I explored a little bit of downtown Knoxville - walking distance from our hotel. Such a historic city! I loved the old theater signs, lamp posts, and brick sidewalks. We had dinner at Tupelo Honey Cafe - southern food! The tangy BBQ, sweet tea cocktail, fried okra, and goat cheese grits were our favorites.

One the last day of our trip, we spent the morning exploring the city a little further. We stopped in a few adorable boutiques and antique shops, a cute kitchen store, and a bookstore with a charming small-town feel.

We discovered Just Ripe on our walk up Union Avenue and decided to share an egg biscuit and glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice as a late breakfast. The shop was charming - a combination grocery and cafe. As we sat at our bistro table by the window, people came in to pick up a dozen eggs, a loaf of freshly-baked bread, or to order a bite to eat. The food was delicious! In fact, we liked it so much that we went back a little while later to pick up lunch to-go! Who can resist a homemade pimento cheese sandwich?

I hope we make it back to Knoxville sometime soon - perhaps for the International Biscuit Festival!