February 2025
The sun came out today, which reminded me how dark it’s been lately.
We expect that in winter, don’t we? Cold and dark and gloomy. “We’re having a real winter for the first time in several years and I’m kind of mad about it,” I said to a friend on the phone last weekend.
It’s not that I don’t like the snow. We’ve skied and cross-country skied and hiked more this year than the last few years combined. It's more about another week of not seeing the sun, not seeing temperatures above 30. Another personal loss and wave of grief. Another devastating news cycle.
It’s hard. Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.
On Super Bowl Sunday, we made soup (appropriately enough), lit a candle, and listened to a podcast interview with Kari Leibowitz, researcher and author of the book, How to Winter. Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days.
“Our mindsets prime our expectations—so, what we think something is going to be like—and then our expectations shape what we actually notice in the world and how we interpret and make sense of those things,” she explained.
In this way, what we think will happen may actually happen. That’s the frame we’re using. That's what we’re choosing to notice and pay attention to.
We do this in our work, too:
“I don’t have enough time to practice.”
“I can’t get everything done.”
“This is going to be a lot of work.”
Our expectations shape our experiences. But there’s something we can learn from winter.
“Winter is multifaceted,” Leibowitz said. “Yes, it is cold and it is dark and then you could make the leap to say that it is gloomy or depressing, but also it can be cozy and magical and special and fun.”
It can be a season of grief (like it has been for me), but also delight. Of stillness and gathering energy. Of slowness and contentment.
It’s not always easy to hold all of these things at once.
"I want a word that means
okay and not okay,
a word that means
devastated and
stunned with joy.
I want the word that says
I feel it all, all at once."
- Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “For When People Ask,” excerpt
In case you need permission this week:
It’s okay to take your time
It’s okay to take breaks (see this post)
It’s okay to stop and celebrate, even if you haven’t reached your goal (see this post)
It’s okay to practice away from your instrument (see this episode)
It’s okay to not do it all in this season
Let’s lean into winter a little more—the quiet contentment, slowness, and restoration. To appreciate the beauty of this multi-faceted season, scattering flashes of light around like a prism in the sun.
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